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Crisis
Counseling
Dr. Marc A.
Graham, Director
Biblical Counseling Center of Southeast
Michigan
Introduction:
Much of the New Testament is
crisis-oriented. A number of the epistles, especially, were written
to meet crises in the lives of individuals and churches.
These crises involved all sorts of
problems: heresy, apostasy, congregational division,
lawsuits, disorder, death, persecution, sexual immorality,
divorce.
Each pastor during the course of his
ministry will be frequently called upon to help others face many
crises that unavoidably arise in a sinful world. As a leader and
protector of the flock of God, it is crucial for the pastor to know
how to care for the sheep in a crisis. Otherwise, in their hour of
need, the pastor will become a part of the problem by giving wrong
counsel or referring the needy member to seek the counsel of the
ungodly.
Definition of a crisis: A crisis is
any circumstance to which a person senses a need to
respond, in which he believes that his response will have
life-shaking effects.
Examples of common crisis
situations:
1. The husband/wife who has just
been informed by their spouse that they want
a divorce.
2. The husband/wife who
has discovered their spouse in an affair/pornography.
3. The husband/wife that has learned that their spouse/child is on
drugs.
4. The family breadwinner who has suddenly lost their job.
5. The spouse/child who is threatening or has attempted
suicide.
6. Sudden, unexpected, catastrophic death of a loved one or close
friend.
7. The parent with a child who:
a. Is failing in school.
b. In a state of total uncooperation/rebellion.
c. Is cutting/mutilating themselves.
d. Is in a state of extreme depression.
e. Is pregnant.
Three elements to be
considered:
1. The crisis situation (real or
imagined).
2. The individual(s) who are involved in the crisis.
3. The response that he must make to the crisis issue.
Three things that must be
done:
1. Make a
preliminary analysis of the crisis situation.
2. Make an inventory of the counselee's mental and emotional state,
attitude, behavior and resources.
3. Find and follow the biblical principles that address the issues
in the crisis.
I. ANALYSIS OF THE CRISIS
SITUATION. (Gathering Data)
A. Is it real or imagined
.
1. Examples of potential imaginary
crises:
a. Suspicions of a spousal
affair.
b. Fears that a spouse is going to leave the marriage.
c. Panic attacks about imagined physical threats.
d. Depressed person who believes that no one cares.
e. Insecure person who thinks that no one likes
them.
2. Biblical example of an "imagined
crisis: King Saul's attitude
toward David after the victory over Goliath.
a. Saul's imagined crisis: 1
Samuel 18:6-9.
b. The reality: 1 Samuel 24:5-13.
3. It is important that the counselor model for the counselee that
we must
formulate our thinking based only on hard data, not feelings,
suspicions, intuition or the experiences of others.
4. Good data gathering questions
will focus on who, what, when, where.
a. Avoid asking a lot of
questions that can be answered "yes" or
"no" as they provide little information.
B. Divide the crisis into parts,
aspects, elements. Do not be overwhelmed by the
"whole" .
1. The counselee will tend to focus
on the enormity of the crisis.
a. "This is too much."
b. "This is more than I can take."
2. The counselee may focus on the
complexity of the crisis.
a. "I am totally
confused."
b. "I just don't know where to begin."
C. Prioritize the parts of the
crisis.
1. What demands immediate attention.
What can wait for future
counseling sessions.
2. Which issues are simple and which
are more complex .
D. Frame the identified problems and
proposed solutions in biblical not
psychological terms. This will help the counselee begin to think
biblically.
II. ANALYSIS OF THE
COUNSELEE.
A. His emotional state.
1. Is he in a panic?
2. Is he in deep depression or
bitterness?
3. Is he in full possession of his
mental faculties?
4. Halo data.
B. His spiritual state.
1. Is he a Christian or a
non-Christian?
2. Is his attitude biblical or
non-biblical?
3. Does he respect God's Word, how
it identifies the problem and the
solutions the Bible will propose?
C. Action the counselee has taken to
solve the problem.
1. What are solutions he has
proposed or attempted to solve the problem?
2. What was the original
problem?
3. What specific actions has the
counselee taken to attempt resolution?
D. What are the counselee's
motives?
1. "I will do anything to achieve my
end goal."
2. Justifying himself and proving
others wrong or blaming them.
3. Gain relief from pain and/or
pressure.
4. Pleasing God first.
E. What are the counselee's
resources?
1. Personal resources.
2. Family resources.
3. Church resources.
III. HELPING THE
COUNSELEE.
A. Give hope .
1. The counselee needs hope that
progress can be made on this problem
or they will not return.
a. 1 Corinthians 10:13. ("Christ
and Your Problems", Adams).
b. Romans 8:28---God is at work in all things and is up
to
something good. ("How to Handle Trouble", Adams).
2. For those experiencing deep grief over the death of a loved one,
you
can give hope by gently informing them that even though it
hurts
very deeply now, it will not always be like this. The pain
will
lessen in time.
B. Gain involvement .
1. Take their problem
seriously.
2. Even if their situation is caused
by the consequences of their sinful
choices the pain they are experiencing is still very real.
(Prov. 13:15).
C. Build their understanding of the
sovereignty of God.
1. Story of Joseph. (Gen.
37-50).
2. Jerry Bridges' excellent book
"Trusting God."
D. Help them begin to find immediate
emotional relief.
1. Explain to them that we are to
learn to live by biblical principles, no
matter how we feel (Eph. 4:22-24).
a. Emotions exaggerate the
severity of the problem. (Psalm 142:4).
b. Emotions are deceitful. (Ephesians 4:22).
c. Illustrate that we don't live by feelings in other areas of
life and
experience success (rules of the road, our jobs,
school,
the doctor, the airline pilot).
2. Help them see that biblical thinking and actions will help bring
about
positive feelings. (John 13:17; James 1:25).
E. Look for some aspect of the
problem that you can help them begin to work on
immediately. The sooner they experience forward movement in
their lives,
even in some small area, the better.
Conclusion:
A. Your chief goal in a crisis
counseling session is to give hope to the counselee
that answers are available and change is possible.
B. Help them see the relief that can
come from climbing out of the confusing
quicksand of subjective circumstances and on to the rock of
absolute,
unchanging biblical truth. This will bring emotional
relief.
Resources:
Adams, Jay, Coping With Counseling Crises, Grand Rapids,
Baker Books,
1976.
Adams, Jay, Critical Stages of
Biblical Counseling, Stanley, N.C., Timeless
Texts, 2002.
Wright, H. Norman, Crisis
Counseling, San Bernardino, Here's Life Publishers,
1985.
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