Biblical Counseling Center

of Southeast Michigan

A Nouthetic Counseling and Training Center

LOVE: THE MARK OF A TRUE
FOLLOWER OF CHRIST
Dr. Marc A. Graham, Director
Biblical Counseling Center of Southeast Michigan

INTRODUCTION:

Throughout the New Testament we are taught that when a person comes to faith in Christ they undergo a profound internal change. This change is necessary because men and women, in their fallen state, possess hearts that are incredibly wicked, deceitful and self-centered.

"The heart is deceitful above all things…" Jer. 17:9.

"The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time." Gen. 6:5.

Due to the wickedness of the sinful heart, man's focus apart from Christ is completely on himself and how to gratify the desires of his flesh continually.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires." Eph. 4:22.

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkeness, orgies and the like…" Gal. 5:19-21.

The Scriptures are clear that a person is driven by the type of heart that they possess.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Prov. 4:23.

A wellspring is a source of water. When you live in the country, you have a well. Everything that uses water in your house is somehow hooked up to the well, the source of water on your property. Using this illustration, Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the human heart is like the well of our lives. It is the source that drives the direction we take in our thinking and behavior. Obviously, it is important that a water source be pure and not tainted, or the water will be unsafe for consumption. In the same way, a heart must be pure and not tainted, or the life of a person will be contaminated and corrupt. The heart of an unsaved person is tainted by sin. It is selfish to the core. Such a heart drives the life of the unsaved person to view everything, including relationships, from a totally self-centered basis. Such a heart desperately needs to be changed. The sinner cannot do this on his own. He must have outside help.

"Who can say, 'I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin'?" Prov. 20:9.

When a person comes to faith in Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit comes to live within the believer and does a work on their heart.

"…and made no distinction between us and them, purifying their hearts by faith." Acts 15:9.

"Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 11:19.

Where the heart of the unsaved are characterized by selfishness, the heart of the saved, the true follower of Jesus Christ, is characterized by selflessness. The character of such a heart, indwelled by the Holy Spirit, is described in the New Testament as follows:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Gal. 5:22-23.

This is clearly the opposite of kinds of things that are characteristic of the old sinful nature.

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice." Eph. 4:30-31.

What a difference between the heart ruled by the Holy Spirit and the heart ruled by sin and self! So profound is the difference between the heart of the believer versus the unbeliever, that Jesus said that people around the believer will notice such a dramatic change that they will be able to tell, because of this visible change, that this person is one of His true followers.

"By this will all men know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35.

Love: the mark of a true believer. Why is this? Because we have clearly seen that the heart of the unbeliever is selfish. The heart of the believer, on the other hand, is focused on loving and serving others. The unbelieving heart is filled with anger, bitterness, rage and malice when it doesn't get what it wants. The believing heart is characterized by patience, self-control and peace because its focus is on the good of others, not itself.

I. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PRESENCE OF LOVE.

A. What does the presence of love in our hearts prove to us, according to I John 3:14?_______________________________________.

Here the Scriptures clearly tell us that if a person is not characterized by love, there is real reason to call their salvation into question. We are not talking about perfection. Since every Christian still battles the sin nature, he/she will struggle from time-to-time with anger toward others. What John is speaking of, however, is the pattern in our lives. A person who is dominated by a hateful spirit toward others, whose relationships are characterized by anger and bitterness is a person who the Spirit does not live within. In other words, they are not truly saved.

B. How can a person know that they truly belong to Christ, according to I John 3:18-19?_____________________________________ ___________________________________________________.

C. When a person is not characterized by love, what is the problem, according I John 4:7-8?______________________________ _______________________________________________.

D. What does the Bible call a person who says they are a Christian, yet treats their brother hatefully, according to I John 5:20? ________________________________________________.

This is a very serious issue and should not be taken lightly. The Scriptures are clear that a believer has a changed heart. The love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, Romans 5:5 tells us. Jesus says the mark of the genuine disciple is love in John 13:35. We are repeatedly told in I John that anyone who claims to be a Christian but does not love is lying to others, God, and sadly, to themselves. I cannot stress enough that the whole inner motivation of the heart changes away from one's self and toward God and others, when a person truly comes to Christ.

E. As you think about the clear teaching of the Scriptures listed above about the importance of the presence of love, read I John 3:18-21. Do you pass the love test or does your heart condemn you? _________________________________________________.

Again, please honestly examine your heart and let the Spirit speak to you from the Word. Sadly, we in the Christian church today are quick to accord Christian status to many whom the Scriptures clearly deny it. A true follower of Jesus Christ is not someone who believes a body of information about Jesus, as James 2:19 so clearly teaches, but one who embraces the Gospel with their whole heart, repents of their sin, and desires to follow Jesus. Is there the presence of love in your life, demonstrating that God's Spirit lives within you?

II. HOW LOVE MANIFESTS ITSELF IN RELATIONSHIPS.

I CORINTHIANS 13:4-8:

A. Love is patient.

1. Patience models itself in the character of God in that He often withholds punishment from those who sin against Him over a period of time.

2. The greek word for patience is makrothumeo. It literally means to endure pain or unpleasant circumstances for a long period of time. Love is at the root of such an attitude. A refusal to be patient with others clearly demonstrates a lack of love.

B. Love is kind. V. 4.

1. Love does not do cruel things to others. It is gentle.

C. Love does not envy. V. 4.

1. Love is not jealous.

2. It doesn't have a tendency to constantly interpret the actions of others in a negative way.

3. A loving person is not one who is always looking for a way out of a difficult relationship to try and find greener pastures.

D. Love does not boast and is not proud. V. 4.

1. Pride is at the root of selfishness and lack of love.

E. Love is not rude. V. 5.

1. Love is considerate of others. It does not do ugly, mean things.

F. Love is not self-seeking. V. 5.

1. Love isn't focused on self and always worrying about what everyone else is doing to "me."

2. A person who loves is not driven by their own agenda.

G. Love is not easily angered. V. 5.

1. A loving person is not "thin-skinned."

2. A loving person does not have a short-fuse.

3. Selfish people are easily irritated.

H. Love keeps no record of wrongs. V. 5.

1. Bitterness refuses to let go of things. Bitter people always think the worst.

2. Love gives the benefit-of-the-doubt and doesn't dwell on past issues. It doesn't constantly dredge up old sins and keep them on the table in relationships.

3. One of the marks of unloving people is that whenever a conversation degenerates into an argument, they are quick to pull out the list of the other person's past offenses and use it like a baseball bat to beat the other person back.

I. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. V. 6.

1. Love happily sides with the truth when wrong and injustices are done.

2. The last thing love would think of doing is to shade the truth in order to make oneself look better.

J. Love always protects. V. 7.

1. Love is always looking out for the good of others.

K. Love always trusts and hopes. V. 7.

1. Again, love always thinks the best of others until there is hard evidence to the contrary.

L. Love always perseveres. It never fails. V. 7,8.

1. Love refuses to give up, no matter what.

2. A loving person is willing to be inconvenienced or experience difficulty in order to do what is right by others. (Rom. 13:10).

CONCLUSION:

A. All of these qualities are to be growing in the life of one in whom the Holy Spirit resides.

B. Since love is the mark of the true disciple, according to Jesus, these evidences should be present in some measure, if one truly knows Christ. If I know Christ, I should strive not to act like an unbeliever.