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THE WISE MAN AND SEXUALITY
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Proverbs 5-7
Dr. Marc A. Graham, Director
Biblical Counseling Center of Southeast
Michigan
I. THE GUIDING PRINCIPLE:
BEING A PERSON OF DISCRETION.
A. How do we gain
discretion?
Prov.
5:1-2---My son, pat attention to my wisdom, listen
well to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and
your lips may preserve knowledge. [the word "discretion" is
from a Hebrew root word which means "to plan."]
PRINCIPLE: Sexual failure comes when we fail
to live by a clearly developed plan of righteousness and allow
ourselves to replace it with a pattern of allowing the flesh and
emotions to rule and seek gratification. Do you have a plan for
righteousness in this area? Do you have a goal of purity and a
practical Biblical plan to maintain it? Discretion doesn't happen
by accident. It always involves a deliberate and pre-planned
strategy.
DISCUSSION POINT:
What are some practical things people should do and not do in order
to maintain sexual purity?
II. YOU MUST SEE THROUGH THE
LIE OF THE APPEAL TO SIN SEXUALLY.
A. The smooth talk of the seeker of
sex.
Prov. 5:3---For
the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother
than oil. [This is the appeal. "I love you so much." If this
is a part of a sexual appeal what it really means is "I love me and
want you!" "Everybody is doing it" or some form of that mentality.
"It's natural and normal for people to have sex." Yes, but it is
not righteous and pure to do it outside of marriage (see Hebrews
13:4).
B. The reality of pre-marital,
extra-marital sex.
Prov.
5:4-5---but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as
a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead
straight to the grave. [The result of giving in to sexual
impurity is a bitter life of guilt and struggle. Once purity in
this area is gone, there are things you can never get back. Sexual
sin opens the door to the spiritual grave and a life of struggle
with lust and temptation. This is what verse 5 is talking about.
You don't die physically. It is talking spiritual death and
struggle. A life of struggle with lust, temptation, pornography,
etc. is miserable. A bondage takes hold that is hard to
break.]
C. Sexual sin is committed when
people stop thinking and start feeling and acting on emotions. They
are no longer thinking about the big picture and the way of life,
but living in the fleshly, lustful, emotional moment.
Prov. 5:6---She
give no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she
knows it not. [People enslaved to sexual sin become
insensitive to spiritual truth, yet they don't even realize it has
happened.]
III. DISCRETION IN
ACTION.
A. A deliberate plan for staying
pure.
Prov.
5:8---Keep a path far from her, do not go near the
door of her house. [Don't allow yourself to get into
situations that might start you down the path of sexual temptation.
Guard your mind and your heart. Watch what you look at. Be faithful
in the spiritual disciplines so that you might be controlled by the
Spirit not the flesh.]
B. A consideration in advance of the
great cost of impurity.
Prov.
5:9---lest you give your best strength to others and
your years to one who is cruel. [This is warning against the
bondage to lust. You are going to open the door to a lifetime of
struggle if you engage in sexual sin.]
Prov.
5:10---Lest strangers feast on your wealth and your
toil enrich another man's house. [This is the picture of the
bondage to lust where one wastes his hard-earned money on videos,
pornography, phone sex, even prostitutes, seeking more and more
sexual stimulation. This is a miserable and costly life of bondage
to lust.]
Prov. 5:11---At
the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are
spent. [If you see someone who has been involved in sexual sin
for years, they look spent, used up, worn out. People literally
ruin their bodies trying to fulfill lust.]
Prov.
5:12-13---12 You will say, "How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction! 13 I would not obey my teachers or
listen to my instructors. [You will wake up one day and be
absolutely sick over how you have wasted your life. You will think
back to a sermon you heard, or perhaps even this Sunday School
class, and be heart sick that you didn't heed the warnings from the
Word of God and those who taught it.]
Prov. 5:14---I
have come to the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole
assembly. [It is the nature of sexual sin and God's judgement
that it is always brought out into the open, one way or another. If
you get involved in sexual immorality you stand to lose your
reputation. Once lost, it is nearly impossible to get it
back.]
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