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PROVERBS
THE WISE MAN AND SEXUALITY
#2
Dr. Marc A.
Graham, Director
Biblical Counseling Center of Southeast
Michigan
I.
INTRODUCTION:
A. Remember the goal: Maintaining
Discretion (a plan of action for maintaining purity).
II. SEXUAL RELATIONS ARE NOT
TO BE SHARED WITH STRANGERS.
A. The "stranger" (Prov. 5:17) is
the seeking of sexual gratification with others outside of the
context of marriage (more to be said about this in a
moment).
Prov.
5:15---Drink water from your own cistern, running
water from your own well. [In the context here, your own
"cistern" or "well" refers to your own wife (spouse). The drinking
of water brings satisfaction to a thirsty man. Thus, the verse is
saying that sexual satisfaction may be sought only in the marriage
relationship with your own spouse].
Prov.
5:16---Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares? [This is
referring to going everywhere but where you are supposed to for
sexual gratification. It is a graphic passage using the poetic
language of "springs" and "streams" to refer to male sexual climax.
This is not unheard of for the Scripture to be this direct
concerning sexual matters (see an example of such in Genesis
38:8-9).
Prov.
5:17---Let them be yours alone, never to be shared
with strangers. [The wise man is to be self-controlled in the
area of sexuality. He is not to be driven be sexual impulse to
copulate every chance he gets anywhere he gets the opportunity. He
is to not share his sexuality with "strangers." The stranger refers
to anyone who is not his spouse. There is a sense that a husband
and wife share an intimacy that they share with no one else in the
world (Genesis 2:24). This intimacy is for them, alone, and not to
be shared with others. In that sense, everyone else is a
stranger].
III. WHERE IS THE RIGHTEOUS
PLACE TO FIND SEXUAL SATISFACTION? MARRIAGE,
ALONE!
Prov.
5:18---May your fountain be blessed, and may you
rejoice with the wife of your youth. [The "fountain" again
refers to the husbands sexual climax. The sperm transmitted in this
creates offspring. This is the meaning of "may your fountain be
blessed." The blessing is children.---Further, this verse teaches
that sexual relations in marriage are not merely for reproduction
(as Catholicism has historically taught), but also for "rejoicing"
with your wife. In other words, sex in marriage is to be enjoyed.
It is OK for a husband and wife to "have fun" in sex. When sex is
done in the godly context of marriage, it is to be enthusiastically
and regularly engaged in and it is to give pleasure to both
spouses].
Prov. 5:19---A
loving doe, a graceful deer---may her breasts satisfy you always.
May you ever be captivated by her love. ["A loving doe, a
graceful deer" this is a beautiful poetic description of
femininity. Women are beautiful and graceful creatures. Here is a
command to enjoy and be satisfied in the wife's femininity,
sexually. The Hebrew root word for "captivated" literally meant
"to stray or be misled." It came to be used of being "intoxicated."
The idea is to be so enraptured by something that you are
passionately drawn to it. The King James Version translates the
word as "ravished." This paints are picture of the wonderful
possibilities of sex in marriage. Here with his wife the husband
may find great sexual fulfillment with absolutely "no guilt." He
cannot find this anywhere else. To forsake his wife for another is
like leaving Outback Steakhouse to eat at the garbage can behind
McDonald's].
Prov.
5:20---Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?
Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife? [This is a good
question. When the possibilities of verse 19 are considered, why in
the world would one thrown away such a relationship. To pursue sex
outside of marriage is to open the door to a life of misery, guilt,
and enslavement to the cruel master, Lust. It makes no sense.---Yet
notice the warning here. The adulteress can captivate you? You can
become intoxicated with lust. You can lose your head and become
enslaved to misery.
IV.
A SOBER WARNING.
Prov.
5:21---For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord,
and He examines all his paths. [Sexual sin thrives on
secrecy. Yet a sober reminder is given. Anytime sex is engaged in
there are three in the room, not just two. As the two sexual
partners satisfy their passions, God is right there watching. It
is done in full view of the Lord. God examines all a man's paths.
When God's plan for sex in marriage is followed, God is pleased and
will bless it. When it is not followed, God will judge adulterers
and fornicators (Heb. 13:4). The sin cannot be concealed from the
Lord (see Psalm 139:11-12)].
Prov. 5:22---The evil deeds of a wicked man
ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. [Once lust
is admitted into a life, it takes tenacious hold. It is a war to
rid the heart of lust. Repetition of sin breeds habit patterns and
enslavement. It can get so ingrained in the human heart that it
literally binds a person like being tied up with ropes. One
struggles and struggles and just can't seem to break free of the
grasp of sin. What a miserable existence.]
Prov. 5:23---He
will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great
folly. [How did a man get in such a pitiful state? Lack of
discipline and his own "folly" (foolishness). Remember
Proverbs 1:7---it is the fool who despises
wisdom and discipline. Also remember that the goal of this teaching
in Proverbs is to help one "attain wisdom and discipline" (Proverbs
1:2). The result of a lack of discipline is that "he will die."
This doesn't refer to physical, though that can be the end result,
but rather to a miserable, destructive life. We ought to take
serious heed to God's warning. Sexual immorality enslaves and then
destroys.]
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