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Why Masturbation is
Sin
Dr. Marc A. Graham, Director
Biblical Counseling Center of Southeast
Michigan
Introduction:
A. The world's view on
masturbation:
1. It is the "business man's friend." (It provides an outlet
for sexual desire when he is on the road and away from his wife,
keeping him from seeking sex with another woman).
2. It is a psychologically harmless,
normal form of release.
3. When the Bible speaks of
fornication, this means illicit sex with someone else, not
self-stimulation through masturbation.
B. All of the above, like all
worldly reasoning apart from understanding God's truth, represent
erroneous and unbiblical thinking.
C. Important questions that need to
be asked and answered:
1. Does engaging in masturbation
equal sex?
2. Does the Bible give clear
teaching on what is an acceptable, guilt-free venue for engaging in
sex versus unacceptable ones?
3. Are we free before God to indulge
natural bodily appetites any way we please?
4. Recognizing that sexual activity
is pleasurable, what are the risks in terms of enslavement to
lust?
5. What are the two chief goals of
sexuality, according to the Bible?
I. ARE YOU HAVING SEX WHEN
YOU MASTURBATE?
Answer: Clearly Yes!
A. A basic definition in the
dictionary of the word "sex" is "sexual gratification." In other
words, sex is basically the stimulation of genitalia by whatever
means that would bring about gratification, meaning
orgasm.
1. It is a basic principle of human
physiology that the goal of stimulation of human genitalia is to
reach sexual climax. Such stimulation is called "foreplay." The
idea in the term is that stimulation of genitalia is a build up of
physical sensation in the body designed to prepare the body for
intercourse and subsequent orgasm.
2. Proof of this is the fact that
when genitalia is stimulated and desire is aroused but orgasm is
not achieved, there is a great physical and emotional feeling of
frustration that results.
B. Masturbation meets all of these
conditions and is, therefore, the "having of "sex."
1. Masturbation is "solo sex," sex
without relationship.
C. This begs the following
question:
II. WHAT IS THE APPROVED
BIBLICAL VENUE FOR THE CONDUCT OF HUMAN
SEXUALITY?
Answer: Marriage and marriage
alone---God has designed sex to be a part of the marriage
relationship between the husband and wife, not to be selfishly used
for pure physical stimulation and pleasure. (Hebrews
13:4).
A. Note the clear teaching of
Hebrews 13:4 on the subject of sex.
"Marriage should be honored by all,
and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer
and all the sexually immoral." (Heb.13:4).
B. Note that there are only two
categories of sex dealt with in this verse:
1. Sex within marriage (the pure
marriage bed).
a. This is called honorable and
pure.
2. Sex outside of marriage (which is
all other sex, including solo sex, masturbation).
a. This is called adultery and
sexual immorality and God declares that He will judge
it.
C. That the focus of sex is marriage
is reinforced in Proverbs 5:18-19.
"May your fountain be blessed, and
may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a
graceful deer-may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be
captivated by her love." (Proverbs 5:18-19)
1. Note the focus of sex---enjoying
it with your spouse (the wife of your youth).
2. Where is sexual satisfaction to come from? From engaging in sex
with your spouse not yourself (may her breasts satisfy
you…may you be captivated by her love).
D. Further indication of the Bible's
attitude toward any kind of sexual stimulation outside of marriage
is found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5.
"It is God's will that you should be
sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of
you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and
honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know
God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or
take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins,
as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us
to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects
this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his
Holy Spirit." (I Thessalonians 4:3-8)
1. The command in this passage is to
avoid "sexual immorality" through self control in the use of our
bodies. We are not to be given over to lust (which is exactly what
masturbation brings about) like unbelievers who do not know
God.
2. Further, we are not to wrong our
brother (or sister) or take advantage of him (her). The context of
the passage is sexual immorality and the honorable use of our
bodies. The idea here is that we are not to arouse desires in our
own bodies or in others that cannot be satisfied in a God-honoring,
biblical way (marriage). To do so is considered
"impurity."
3. Solo sex, masturbation, is the
impure use of our bodies. It dishonors God.
III. IS SEX A NEED OR A
DESIRE?
A. When sex is discussed in the
Scriptures it is very often linked with the word lust. The NIV (New
International Version) correctly translates the Greek word
epithumea (the word translated as "lust" in older Bible versions
such as the King James Version) as "desire(s}" (examples: James
1:14; Eph. 4:22).
B. We can live without satisfying
desires, if necessary. A need (such as food) we cannot live
without. Many single Christians have lived without sex and
masturbating. The Holy Spirit promises power to help us discipline
our bodies unto godliness.
C. What is the Biblical remedy for
those who struggle with sexual desire?
1. The Bible never gives
masturbation as a remedy for dealing with desire. God would not
advocate us to engage in something that was going to enslave us to
lust.
2. The Biblical remedy for one
burning with lust is marriage (1 Cor. 7:2, 9), the only place where
sex can be enthusiastically engaged in without guilt (Heb.
13:4).
IV. WHAT ARE THE TWO CHIEF
BIBLICAL PURPOSES OF SEX IN THE BIBLE?
A. Pro-creation. (Genesis
1:27-28).
"So God created man in his own
image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he
created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and
increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…" (Genesis
1:27-28)
1. This purpose for sex clearly
excludes masturbation, since no one can make themselves
pregnant.
B. Giving pleasure to your marital
spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).
"The husband should fulfill his
marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
The wife's body does not belong to her alone, but also to her
husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him
alone, but also to his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
1. The focus of sex is the marriage
relationship with the husband and wife giving themselves to each
other for the other's pleasure. This is so important it is called
marital "duty." Both partners have a duty to take care of the other
in this way.
2. This goal is so important that
that this text clearly states that neither has the right to deny
sexual access to their bodies from their spouse. To do so is sin,
as this text is a command (it is in the imperative form in the
original Greek text).
3. Masturbation, solo sex, may then
be defined as "selfish sex." It's goal does not fit the biblical
purpose of human sexuality, the gratification of a marital partner.
It's goal is "self-gratification."
a. Those who engage in habitual
masturbation usually develop, either consciously or subconsciously,
a very selfish attitude toward sex that damages their sexual
relationship with their spouse when they later get married.
b. One prominent Biblical Counselor has stated: "Sex before
marriage often equals bad sex after marriage."
Conclusion:
A. A key teaching throughout
Scripture is that the mark of Christian maturity is the ability to
exercise "self-control" and discipline, when it comes to the use of
our bodily impulses, whether it be in the area of our emotions
(control of our temper, etc.) or in the area of food (gluttony), or
in the area of sex.
1. Galatians 5:22-23---one of the
fruits of the Spirit is "self-control."
B. Our bodies are to be used as
instruments of righteousness (Rom. 6:12-14).
C. Habitual masturbation is not
self-control of the body and leads to enslavement to lustful
thoughts and habits.
1. The law of diminishing
returns---the more you feed an appetite, the more it
wants.
2. What satisfies and stimulates
today will not continue to satisfy and stimulate
tomorrow.
D. Habitual masturbation does not
decrease temptation, it actually increases a preoccupation with
sex.
1. . Anyone who denies this is
kidding themselves and falling prey to the ability of the human
heart to deceive us (Jeremiah 17:9).
E. Habitual masturbation carried
into marriage will lead to an inability to reach orgasm through
intercourse with your marital partner.
1. Your body will become accustomed
to the heightened direct stimulation that occurs from masturbation
(where the individual has complete control over the manner and
level of the manual stimulation) and will become unable to reach
orgasm in intercourse due to insufficient stimulation compared to
masturbation. (I have encountered this problem regularly in
counseling).
Final thought: We are called upon to
glorify God in everything we do, including the use of our bodies (1
Corinthians 6:19-20; 10:31). Masturbation is purely and simply
selfish use of sexuality designed by God to honor Him in giving to
a marital partner. Sex is beautiful and pure in marriage. It is
selfish and, therefore, sin in any other context.
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